There is alot of 'bad' in the world, with people, within society. But there will always and forever be. One cannot save the world (from it.) There will always be the good too. This you can save, if only for yourself. - rosie.
-------------- We learn from what hurts us as much as much as what loves us. Run life until your leart gives out. The really tough lessons in life, take a life time to learn. Once you learn to die, you learn how to live. (ironic and cruel). -------------- I need to shed. I need to forgive. I need to lose to chip. I need to let go. I need to... breath. live lightly.
I really do not think the method of democracy is really working out. For one, its not truly exercised to its full potential. I feel people do not really have the last say or enough input within their countries decisions. The fact that “the people” keep electing the “wrong” leaders and keeping them in power says something too. How many changes of hand has the parties in Canada seen the last 10 years alone. And more recently, the switch from Liberal to conservative and now in January if there is a federal election, back to liberal it may be again. The liberal party has just out Dion in power, another switch from Jean to Martin now to Dion, and meanwhile the scandal deceit is in the back of everyone’s minds. Is the only optimism I am to have in the fact that he was once a University professor and is bushing for clarity environmental acts? Hell, I didn’t elect this leader fir the Liberal party… ahem.. demockracy? The States, how Dubya got into power the first time let alone the second time amazes me. Cheating? Who knows, but the fact that there is even the thought of such that this leader in power who is to represent you as a people is even having these rumors whispered is scary. I mean where’s the security in that? Now everyone’s biting their knuckles until their big mistake is out of power in a whole 2.5 years. Seems Chavez in Venezuela was just reelected for his thirds term, is he the only leader with any real staying power? And I do not hear any complaints of possible rigged elections there. meanwhile Castro has been missing since his 80th birthday party. Haha.
had my sociology class, and after class was talking with my T.A. and my Professor, and got taking about dyslexia, and I mentioned how I think I have undiagnosed dyslexia, my T.A. then admitted that he was dyslexic and a couple techniques, and that in some ways its a good thing because it allows one to re-read info alot and thus absorb more. He said there's no reason why you can't pursue your PhD, and my professor then comes into the conversation agreeing with the T.A. saying that she too is dyslexic and they both have their PhD’s and yes that I should pursue my PhD because I'm smart and its evident from my class participation and my work. I had not even mentioned anything about thinking of going for my PhD (which in the back of my mind I have been considering). so this is a nice ego boost to say the least screw you insecure self esteem, at least for today. Argh feeling inadequate has been something that always follows me.
After class Karen and I hit up the gym at school for the first time, its funny, there’s a lot of skinny little first year guys there being all lie “ahh yep, taking on the gym, going to be a buff chick magnet.” Anyways, I hope to start sing the facilty 1 to 3 times a week when I can.
Lost is on tonight, that series is sooo messed, its great, not even the actors know the plot, they just show up and act episode by episode.
I actually found the time and bothered to get my hair trimed. yes. its front page news.
im happy that a big company like shit i forget who makes dove soap, but its good to see them taken a stance as this, they've been doing it for a couple years now, and its quite good, yes it helps sell their products, but the messages and persona it sends forth, is worth it, and ethical i think.
sweet... as of sept I'll be pursuing a double major at university, in psych and sociology. plus i need to work full time, so yeah, no social life for me for the next few years ;)
god... how did i ever listen to korn when i was a teen? i hear it now and I laugh... i guess its a bunch of cheesy teenage angst. some mid 20's bad members who are slow to grow out of it and made it a focus of their music and sold it well to teens. apparently head the bassist i think.. he's become some big christian thing, and i think he is trying to make xtian music.. hahah.
deftones, on the otherhand i can still stand to listen too.. but they were little different.
argh i'm sick i have a fucking cold in the summer god..
i've been reading the da vinci code, its a great read... i suggest it.
So i finally found a place worthy to call home. and fuck what a deal i got! first, the guy just put the ad in the paper the day before yesterday and yesterday i told him i'd take it. He's a nice guy, he is even willing to drive me to the grocery store sometimes when he goes. He'll live above, by himself, and i have the basement. its a bach recently renovated, nice new hardwood floors, cable and internet and laundry and ult. incl. on the express bus route for york unv. :) and 24 hour grocery store and shops etc. jewish neighbourhood at bathurst and sheppard al for only $585! sweeet. glad to get a break. this is a link of the ad with someone living in it: house link apparently there is a bed behind that couch. so i'm moving and of the month, all my stuff is pretty much all still in boxes, so it should be an easy move.
june's reminder if about making sure "you drink your water" ladies and love yourself....
YOUR MORNING ROUTINE PUTS YOU ON AUTO-PILOT We are going to build a Morning Routine for your Control Journal or to just post on the refrigerator. Here is what I do.
1. Get up and weigh 2. Shower and get dressed to lace up shoes, fix your hair and face 3. While you are in the bathroom Swish and Swipe 4. Grab a load of laundry and start the washer 5. Check your calendar for today's activities 6. Empty dishwasher to start your day 7. Eat something good for you and take your medicine and vitamins 8. Drink your water
ummm yeah... i haven't looked around the entire site.. actually i'm kinda afriad to... what is this.. life coaching every step of the house women's day...!?
So this is what my usual days are like in the new office I’m at. There are only 8 of us right now. Me and one of my bosses who’s only 24 walk around barefoot eating popsicles from the grocery run we went on to fill the company fridge with goodies.
I am currently interviewing people along with a co-worker while dressed casually in sandals. Play music at our desks, have a 2 pound pomeranian dog running around licking and attacking my ankles.
I just hired a girl I used to work with at Pathway Communications. She’s legally changed her name, so it may be a little odd for me at first working with her. Erhh ahh sa.. on no sorry.. erhh a sy..
We can drink beer at least during this early development stages of the company…
Yeah so its good and I’m happy.. and the pay is good and I have the opts sometimes of doing over time. Sweet.
I am dropping off my rental app to the place I have in m ind this weekend. And if all is well I’ll be moving for the 2nd time this month, but to a better apartment, for the same price. One where landlords keep their promises and shit.
well my apartment sucks ass, things and the landlord there are not working out, and I am moving again end of July. FUUCCCKKK! annoying much!
My new job though is awesome. i'm doing advertising, graphics and marketing for an internet company. i get too work with all young guys, some are cute so it doesn't hurt. i'm their first female employee, and thus far everyone's pleased with my work and since its a new division, I hope to grow with.
One thing that always got me was, why would any veg or vegan want to consume faux animal tasting/named foods and drinks?
i mean, isn't it a little bogus, doesn't it offend any of them? why would they even enjoy the taste of a mock food when its trying to represent something that they are against??
Moving this canaduh day week, to bloor and landowne.. i know.. not the greatest of areas, but i had to find something quickly, the places i had org. lined up, one changed to not being avb. till 15th cuz of gas stove instalation, and other, someone beat me to it. plus was org. supposed to leave here aug. 1st but things changed.
i'll be one my own all alone no bf or roommates, 1st time for everything. i hope i do not get too lonley. i am looking forward to the change though. least i'll have more time to read my 483290573490 books i have piling up. and i'll have ppl over or go ut as much as possible.
Its so mind boggling to think about the unsung fact that so many people like to pretend that they are okay and that they have a wonderful life, and present this false image of themselves to the public. Why would they want to live such a lie? Why wouldn’t they strive to life the truth and make better for/of themselves? Why these fronts. Why we think and deem them necessary. Everyone is so fucking afraid to be seen for who they really are. All the while acting as though what they are revelling is nothing but the bare who they really are. Why are people afraid to let go. Afraid to look stupid, weak, wrong. Is this just human nature? Or is it human habit. Fuck the insecurities. Fuck worrying about what everyone else is thinking, doing or saying, and wondering if the fuck is about you or not. Everyone else is too worried about what you are thinking about them or what everyone else is up to and thinking to give a shit about you and your shit.
Such drama we weave into our lives out of thin air, in hope of incorporating some sort of a thing we can begin to call living. People, with their vices, divulging, self effacing nonsense. Telling, and being told its alright, you’re a little uptight, its okay to use x to let loose, besides, it’s the publicity socially acceptable norm for such a thing. Social animals, trying to fulfill our needs of belongingness, acceptance and label them with a word called love.
Pulling thoughts that others aren’t even having out of thin air. Relying on dreams that will never happen because we’re too scared to see them through. Lying to ourselves that that is not the case, that we have big balls and determination and that in the end we will get there, and no one better step in our way. Besides, doesn’t the world revolve around us anyways. Won’t it all somehow work out for the best in the end. What other trite clichés can we spit out today in hopes to come to some sort of an understanding of this mess we try to call a life. To comfort us for another day, while awaiting the next one, because tomorrow is fresh and new, another day, fresh with no mistakes in it. Except for those ones looming over our shoulders that we are trying to not turn around and face. The ones that have been there and our festering in size and dimension. Are we all at various stages of insanity. Is there any really truth to be had. It’s the world just what we make of it. Is success something that is quantifiable.
I’ll go, I’ll tack this all up to a bad mood. Just one of many that will haunt me and my so called life. I know its something I am supposed to shrug off and practically ignore. I would if I had a few more chemicals, and if I believed that my problems would go away after I was done. If I could see it for more than a simple temporary escape. How long and how hard and how far can this game called life be taken and played out. Are we in control of our own fates, destinies and whatever meaningless label attributed to whatever it is in hopes that a label will give it some sound substance.
I am to say, its alright, I am just a little more than uptight. Run from the bad, smile, carry on, this too will pass. But it all adds up. Into a surmountable, insurmountable mass. The commercials say I may be depressed. Another label to keep me pacified. Buy this, use this, do this, be this, it will make you better, stronger, faster, smarter, less insane, un-lonely, free. All are allowed the pursuit of happiness, whatever illusion it may be, but it is not guaranteed that it will ever be found. And so, it may be for only a 4400.
There is not intelligent, witty way to end this. It will go on. Such is life. Its what ether of us makes of it. At the end of the day, we hoped the gauges are correct in saying we done our best, that it was a job well done. We want others to praise and exclaim they couldn’t do it better themselves even if they tried. Well tomorrow is another day, time to try it all over again. Battle anew, again with the hope that it will all get better. And this is the spice that propels us to slavery. Tomorrow I will probably wish I proof read this, maybe i'll start to question my place and my own sanity, feel a fool and that I am unlike you. But would that be an admitance that I had other in mind when i ranted and vented. Am i not to act as though i do not care. Or is it because I too care what others think. It part of the vicious cycle that keeps competition and slavery healthy and thriving.
The complaint said the U.S. school was "indoctrinating very young children to affirm the notion that homosexuality is right..."
Two families filed a lawsuit on Thursday against a Massachusetts town and its public school system after a teacher read a gay-themed fairy tale to children without notifying them first.
---- Interesting how they are quick to point fingers, as well to define this as "indoctrination". There are a many more worse things your children can and are being exposed to willingly, but I do not see any finger wagging or recognition of any of it as indoctrination. Nor permission or the needed to pre-approve their exposure. Could it be the back lash against granting equal rights to humans, that has these feisty parents/public crying bloody murder.. I think so. Just goes to show how selective mainstream society can be. Once a wave of particular thought sets in ie: same-sex relationships are wrong, it spreads like wild fire. Its sad we are always pitting binary opposites against one another. Progress for positive change and acceptance can and is going to take a long time.
Lovely weather we’re having. Hot cold rain, cold wind. Blah..
New semester started for me… I am taking an English lit class and anthro/psych/sociology class so far so good.
Roommate Amanda got accepted into U of T so she’ll be going there in the fall for animal behavioural sciences and psychology.
I am still waiting to hear back from my two choices – York and Ryerson. I didn’t bother applying to U of T because they don’t seem to have a mature student thingy and I plan to transfer to it later anyways and do my maters there later on.
An old friend is in town next while he moved from Toronto to work in Holland. Haha he says every girl there looks like me :P
I went to a dental appointment today only to be told the guy was not in and to apologize I get free dental appointment next week. Sweet.
There is this thing end of may coming up where the city opens door to a couple hundred normally closed to the public buildings and historical tings and such, it goes for one full weekend. and its free too! i'll post more details later if anyone is interested. It could be like a small BME thingy or whatever.
back to homework, at least its homework i enjoy and not stupid ass Shakespeare that makes me want to jab myself in the eye with an 2h leaded pencil
Well I have an engrish exam tomorrow morning… I don’t quite see the point of studying considering its everything we’ve study in test form… there is no real way to prepare… wither you know it or you don’t. Since I am from the “old curriculum” school system… I’m fuct for knowing how to compile a good MLA essay format bullshit. And now that the course is over (it’s a 2 month condensed English 12U) I am just NOW realizing how I should be writing an essay… it only took my teacher telling me not to try to write a PHD thesis instead write a crappy 12U MLA formatted essay. In other words, write how you think is wrong and don’t like, because its ahem actually the way they want it.
Umm been at a new job for last couple months or something.. I haven’t been on IAM in awhile… doing charity fundraising.. its great cuz at the end of the day I feel good and can say.. I helped raise 300 bucks for x named charity today which is awesome for x.
I’m in love with Penn and Teller’s bullshit show, I’ve been downloading it and watching it.. lovely cynical burst you bubble show.
I am cutting it real close, I still have some mature student crap forms to hand into york and Ryerson for considered acceptance, I think I only have 2 more weeks if that to get them in. I am done them, just need to mail them.
Umm we have 2 aquariums set up now with 583490568903 different fish, I picked out a tire track eel but its shitty cuz he hides all da. We might get a newt.. ? next.
I am itching to get new mods.. its been awhile.. I wanna do something drastic.. but I know I can’t afford it so sniff.
Otherwise… I’ve been feeling and doing great.. feelin; like a bajillion bucks… happy happy joy joy…
ok i am a few days late on this issue... but life's got me busy.. and i live in canada....
ok... so “most” abortions are now illegal in south Dakota… in hopes to influence the government to impose it nation wide…. Fucking assholes….!!! Who do they think they are… here is a picture of a man signing away women’s rights….
It baffles me the state of our educational system. Why the emphasis on studying archaic works with little relevance to present modern times. Why not study things which may actually turn us into real contributors within our civilization and not a bunch of people who work/live with pseudo quasi intellectualist complexes because the could memorize a bunch of useless facts from a text, and spit them back out with no real comprehension or abstract philosophical relevance as to why things have come to be the way they are, just where it is we aer, and to where about’s are we headed.
Studying "classic" curriculum because its fashionable and its just what's been done and turned out in the school system year after year isn;t going to help anyone pass their standardized testings any better.
Been away last couple weeks just got back from spending alot of time over at __, to help out because of recent events and the death in the family. It's heart breaking.
I've also been sick with the flu and I have alot of work to catch up on... 4 major projects due in school tomorrow and tuesday, one being Adolus Huxley's Brave New World analysis of certin figures in the novel which alude to real life people and so forth. Mine about the Bokanovskify Process and the Podsnap technique - the whole spliting of the eggs into mulitples of eggs to create the perfect identical population of divided caste systems and the social conditiong and such. Well turns out there was a real man named Maurice Bokanowski, a deputy from Seine was a “radical” who attempted to have a bill passed entitled “caisses de compensation” which would require agricultural, industrial and commercial employers to join the bill and pay out minimum allowances, fixed maternity and nursing payments as well as baby bonus payments for the birth of each child. The cash value of each allowance was to be calculated as a percentage of an employee’s wages.
Mr.Podsnap is a character in a Charles Dicken's play called "our mutual friend" who tried to raise the perfect child.
The Bokanovskify process in conjunction with the Podsnap technique equals the fastest possible way to develop as many identical twins as possible in the shortest amount of time. Equalling to a population with a mass produced workforce on hand this in turn equals to optimum productivity within a civilization.
With social conditioning which begins during the embryonic development stage and continues into childhood and adolescence; the manufactured population can be shaped into accepting their caste and their servitude. Resulting in minimal production costs, benefits and profits insurmountable to any expenditure costs. Having the lower castes primed to their working and living standards and conditions, leaves room from the upper castes and the civilization and production heads to thus enjoy their own altitude of living, working and leisure. The line “everyone works for everyone else” is a socially indoctrinated motto ingrained into the population which again helps to reinforce this mass produced systematic civilization. Deliberate and preventative measures are taken from the time of conception and development into stages of social conditioning to ensure that the conception of the individual and living beyond one’s means – caste, is nonexistent. Thus eliminating the potential problem of being born into an undesirable caste or social position The need for interference from political governing bodies is not required and minimal rules exist because of the lengths of indoctrination and socialization the population is exposed to. Thus, the masses are easier to control when homogenized The choice of one’s own life’s direction is eliminated, it’s pre-determined and you’ve been conditioned to accept what you are and in fact enjoy what you are.
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